Tag Archives: Year in review

TBKW 2020 Review and Reflections

Welcome to TBKW’s Year End Review post – better late than never, right?

~ ~ ~ 2020 STATS ~ ~ ~

Here, on the blog, there were 14,072 views, primarily to the home page and then to these posts with the most direct traffic:

#1 – The Transformative Power of Good Leadership is an oldie from 2017 that got a lot of circulation from Pinterest in 2020. I’m so happy because this is written about one of my favorite TED Talks and I would love more people to encounter this!

#2 – Francis Chan, the NEO House Network, and Women in Leadership – another oldie from 2016 that is a common search result for people wondering if Chan is complementarian or egalitarian, I believe. I share the Full Gospel Church story from Seoul, Korea – how they became the largest church in the world by empowering women to lead.

#3 – R.C. Sproul on the Role of Men and Women – I gave an egalitarian position to each of his sermon points on the topic of male headship and female submission. My response posts always do well and I enjoy writing them, so I think I will find a few more complementarians to respond to in 2021.

I wrote eight new posts in 2020, ranked below by my favorite rather than date posted or traffic stats:

God hears the prayers of the oppressed – Y’all, there is a right side to be on when we’re talking about racism in America, and much of the white evangelical church ain’t on it. Scripture is clear that God cares for the oppressed. “History has it’s eyes on you.”
Her father’s joy – the story of Abigail – Notes on one of my favorite Bible women (I named my daughter Abigail)
Abigail Sequel – What about Submission? – and a follow-up post regarding what Abigail’s story has to teach us about submission
On being a bad feminist who tolerates all kinds of nonsense, but also having no patience for bad depictions of God’s love – I read Francine Rivers’ terrible book “Redeeming Love” and wrote about how this was an abusive depiction of God’s love rather than God’s actual unconditional love
Holy Post – Race in America – my transcription of Phil Vischer’s excellent video on racism in America
Quoting the Fathers of Complementarianism – a link to a Facebook album I made of disgusting, misogynistic quotes from theologians and pastors
Voices of Protest – links to social media accounts I recommended for understanding the #BLM protests of 2020
Recovering from Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by Aimee Byrd – book recommendation

2020 was also the year that I bit the bullet and paid $19 to take “wordpress” out of the blog url: http://www.thebeautifulkingdomwarriors.com looks so much more legit.

I’ve heard that blogging is dead, people don’t read blogs anymore and I’m okay with that. I’m always behind the curve, definitely not trailblazing or trendsetting. The joy for me comes in the writing and I celebrate the rare “Like” or comment on the blog.

Meanwhile, on The Beautiful Kingdom Warriors Facebook page, 2020 brought some significant traffic upticks. Facebook has become the place where I post the articles and posts I’ve come across and found important, the musings of theologians and activists that I follow, and tons of memes – the clear winner as far as reach goes. I had my first viral post last February:

I can’t remember exactly how many people “liked” TBKW before this post, I think it was around 3K. That doubled in February, and with more people engaging on the page, my posts picked up traction. I ended the year with close to 9k follower and my reach is usually around 600k per month.

I’ve increasingly expanded beyond gender issues (egalitarianism vs. complementarianism, sex abuse, domestic violence, rape culture, purity culture, abortion, etc.) to include posts about racism, politics, trauma, theology, evangelical culture, etc. This leads to some unliking and unfollowing the page while others find the page because of similar values and concerns. I haven’t figured out the best way to encourage people to stick around, to communicate that I don’t want the page to be a vacuum of confirmation bias. I want pushback. I am just one person posting things I come across on the internet. I am not trying to be an authority on or guardian of The Truth. I have learned a lot and am so grateful for everyone who sticks around and engages in the conversations, especially when there is disagreement. I love engaging with kind people who help me understand things better.

As much as I would like more diversity, TBKW seems to resonate most with younger Christians, primarily women and US citizens, with similar political views. I am grateful to receive messages thanking me and to see “mentions” recommending TBKW to their friends as a safe community to grow in faith. Like myself, others have felt less lonely because of TBKW.

Getting personal……2020 Reflections:

As it has been for several years, my writing is harried and sporadic. I could find something to write about every day, if I wasn’t stretched so thin and had the mental space to let the words flow. Mostly, I am clinging to others’ words in my Enneagram 5 need to learn, and never process what I am learning through writing. This grieves me.

Life in 2020 was overwhelming in many ways. On top of a global pandemic and its financial impact, I am a working mom whose “free time” is consumed with housework and homeschooling. I was worried about my husband’s health (he finally received a diagnosis and treatment in November), my brother was in a life-threatening car accident, and my kids were struggling to find their groove in quarantine.

Embarrassingly, the hair that broke the camel’s back was turning 40 during a pandemic. I had dreamed about traveling to celebrate with my closest friends. Reaching the “middle-aged” milestone was jarring when I realized my entire life was in survival mode. I was treading water, fighting to stay ahead of bills and work shifts and supporting my family. I had assumed that by 40, I would figure out my health issues. I had unrequited academic dreams and writing goals. I was having a mid-life crisis and I. was. not. okay.

So I asked for help. First, I reached out to a former pastor. She is a gifted counselor and we set up a weekly phone chat. Collette was a precious guide out of the darkness, making sense of my emotions and offering her “me too” stories, encouragement to rest, resource recommendations, and hope that this season would pass.

Second, I signed up for counseling on Better Help and began weekly sessions with Berty. She told me that I was over functioning for others, I was captive to the tyranny of the urgent, and I was angry like a lot of women my age because I was realizing that I had given my life away. She encouraged me to reclaim my life and make SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Actions, Realistic, Timeframe). She said we overestimate what we can accomplish in one year and underestimate what we can accomplish in ten years. She gave me homework each week that led to setting up a writing space for myself in our guest room and to writing the 8 posts that I managed to share.

I love my new writing space!

When I went back to work at the restaurant and the kids went back to school in August, I thanked Collette and Berty and said I wouldn’t have time anymore for their support. I could certainly use support still, but I am much improved. They had been lifesavers, pulling me out of my burned out pit. This fall, I put my caretaker hat on to help my mom through a big surgery in October and then a broken ankle in November. Then we all got COVID in December and had a huge scare when my mom had to be hospitalized. Praise God we all recovered. Mom was ecstatic to move home in January but we’ve missed having her here with us.

Two and a half weeks ago, I had a hysterectomy. My Facebook posts have tripled and I have been commenting much more during recovery! But that will level out and I am committing to writing more posts here on the blog in 2021. The Beautiful Kingdom Warriors is an outlet for me that gives me a sense of purpose and releases my pent up need to process my thoughts. There are so many things I would like to write about, so I am going to utilize my new SMART goals tool and get to it.

I thank you all for following TBKW. It is incredible that we get to partner with God to bring God’s Kingdom values and love to our communities. We can truly manifest God’s will on earth as it is in heaven through our unique gifts and callings. Let us continue to encourage one another, inspire one another, and urge one another on to love and good deeds. God bless!

End of Year Rundown and Fun Stuff

Our top posts of 2016 were:

  1. Why are Women more eager missionaries?  John Piper’s opinions miss the mark.
  2. Twitter sheds light on non-physical forms of abuse
  3. Egalitarians on Twitter using #CBMW16
  4. Was Jesus really a complementarian???
  5. Q&A on Christian feminism

My favorite thing to watch is where people are reading from.  We had hits from 116 countries.  The most common search terms that bring newbies to our blog are related to sex and porn, and names of pastors, historical figures, and inspiring women we mention.

This is our third year blogging.  In year one, there were 88 posts.  Last year, we only posted 15 articles, and this year we doubled that and posted 30.  Our blog visitors and views have also doubled since last year.  My New Year’s resolution is to blog more regularly.  My favorite thing is sharing resources from more knowledgeable Egalitarians, so I will keep the links and book reviews coming and spatter in my own thoughts as the mood strikes.  I think one post a week is a reasonable goal!  I always keep resources and recent gender-related news coming on our Facebook page but don’t always remember to share the best things here.


Introvert Doodles are my new fav. 🙂

I thought I would share some non-Egalitarian/Christian feminist stuff today, things I have enjoyed reading, watching and listening to this year.  I have only recently learned that I am an introvert!  Truly a surprise, I’m telling you.  I’ve always tried to be extroverted per our culture’s emphasis on honoring extraverted characteristics.  Now I give myself permission to read, Netflix and listen to podcasts as needed for necessary self-care.  This is my kindness to myself.


I once posted a Ted Talk by Isabel Allende here, so I picked up her novel A Daughter of Fortune at the library early this year and blazed through it.  So good!

A writer friend of mine encouraged me to read Bel Canto by Ann Patchett.  And now I encourage you to do the same.  Patchett somehow manages to humanize even the bad guys in this riveting story.

I’ve been hearing about Paulo Coehlo’s book The Alchemist for years, so I made it a priority to read.  I am telling you, fiction is powerful.  We should all be reading more novels.  Please share your recommendations in the comments!


I always intend to write reviews for the non-fiction books I read, so I’ll just list them here and won’t elaborate for now.

The Very Good Gospel: How Everything Wrong Can Be Made Right by Lisa Sharon Harper
Love Warrior: A Memoir by Glennon Doyle Melton
Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living by Shauna Niequist
Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely by Lysa TerKeurst
The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Cron and Suzanne Stabile (I did review this one, the link leads to that)
Rising Strong by Brene Brown
For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards by Jen Hatmaker
Out of Sorts: Making Peace with an Evolving Faith by Sarah Bessey

I have to admit, most of my “self-care” has not involved books.  I read tons of articles and share my favorite on our FB page, and I listen to tons of podcasts while I’m working.  It’s usually well after 9 before our children are put away, so Logan and I have had some favorite shows we watch at that point in the day.  I’ll just share my very favorite things to listen to /watch:

Christian Podcasts:

On Being with Krista Tippett – interviews with artists, theologians, writers, activists
The Liturgists – topical episodes including interviews, poetry, music, and more
The Bible Project – creators of The Bible Project have in-depth conversations about the theology behind their excellent videos
Woodland Hills Church – besides my own local church, I usually have one well-known pastor that I listen to regurlarly, and this year that has been Greg Boyd.
The Deconstructionist Podcast – their interviews are always fascinating, leaving me with a lot to chew on
Westminster Town Hall Forum – hosts incredible thinkers for a talk and q&a; archives go back decades and include Desmond Tutu, Maya Angelou, etc.
Split/Frame of Reference – an egal couple discussing Biblical interpretation of difficult passages that complementarians teach gender roles from.

Non-Religious Podcasts:

Serial – I love investigative reporting.  I binged on season one about Adnan Syed and then agonized week to week for season 2 episodes on Bo Bergdahl.
Homecoming – six episodes aired this fall and were AMAZING.
Judge John Hodgman – this is just pure fun.
Real Crime Profile – this is not fun at all.  They discuss infamous crimes as behavioral analyists. I have learned a lot about domestic violence from Laura Richards.
The Moth – short stories told to live audiences

Favorite shows of 2016:

Madam Secretary
This is Us
Good Girls Revolt

Let me know what you enjoyed reading/listening to/watching in 2016!  See you in the New Year!

Two Years of Blogging, and Our 100th Post!

The 16th, coming up on Saturday, is the two year anniversary since our first post on The Beautiful Kingdom Warriors blog.  On top of that, this is our 100th post!

2015 was an over-the-top year for Becky and I in our personal lives.  Consequently, we only published 14 posts in 2015 and most of those were links to other blogs or resources and book reviews. We continued to keep our Facebook page active with fascinating content each day.  Be sure to “Like” our page and contribute to the dialogue there!

Here are a couple links to new posts in 2015 with original TBKW content:

A Response to Girl Defined – Is Feminism Devoid of God?

Finding Healing from Codependency

Despite the lag in blogging, we were blessed to have many visitors this year.  And I love this image from our WordPress report:


I have designated the next few months as a season of healing for me.  I have a window of opportunity to spend time caring for my body and soul, and part of that healing process will involve writing.  I am excited to have the space for blogging once again!  It was painful for me to leave the blog dormant.  I will write soon to explain what I am healing from.  I only mention it here to say that this means more content is coming!  And I am sure that Becky will be back to TBKW blog as her crazy schedule allows it as well.

Thank you for coming to TBKW for resources and conversations about the place of women in the world and in the Church.  Here’s to another year!