In 2021, I only wrote two posts. The first was my 2020 review and reflections, and then in March, I wrote a resource list of abuse advocates. Somehow, with this sparse contribution, the blog had its highest traffic at 15,571 views (next best was 2018 with 14,774 views). Half of those views came from searches.
Meanwhile, the 2021 Facebook page reach was 15,929,074 I grew from 9k to 22.9k followers in 2021 88.2% women, 11.8% men Largest demographic between the ages 25-44
This post reached 4.3 million people:
A big part of me feels like I am just in a holding pattern on the blog – sharing the things I am reading and appreciating on my Facebook page, but not writing any of my own articles and content. So my goals for 2022 are: 1.) to post an article at least once a month on my blog, 2.) write at least one book review per month, and 3.) create at least one digital art piece or meme to share on Facebook per week, so that I am contributing some of my own ideas and reflections to TBKW feeds.
When I begin to experience discouragement and doubt about the fruit of TBKW, God always seems to prick my conscience to keep going, often with an encouraging message through my FB page. Thank you to those who have followed, commented, liked, messaged and given me grace when I miss the mark. Most recently, I was reminded to be a “Good Troublemaker” while listening to a podcast. It isn’t always comfortable to confront the patriarchy, white supremacy, economic injustice, etc. But I believe deep in my heart that these issues matter to God and this is not the way God wants his Bride to function.
My overall feeling is gratitude that I have the opportunity to meet so many interesting and brilliant people through this page, and have important conversations. I am always trying to keep an open mind and open heart to what God may have to teach me through your messages and comments. Thank you all for being a part of TBKW community! I love you so much!!
Over the past few years with #churchtoo disclosures and allegations, as well as the tidal wave of prominent pastors’ “deeds of darkness” being exposed, it is clear that the evangelical church has an abuse problem. Perhaps even more tragically, when we respond poorly to abuse, we exacerbate the pain and trauma of the victims and enable the perpetrators, endangering others and harming the witness of the church. It is imperative that we learn how to respond in a way that ministers to victims, holds perpetrators accountable, and creates a safe, healthy environment for our faith communities.
I wanted to make this post as a resource for pastors, lay leaders, and abuse survivors to facilitate abuse education. For each of us, it is not a matter of if we will face abuse in our own community, but when. So I asked The Beautiful Kingdom Warrior Facebook community to help me compile a list of abuse advocates in this comment thread. Below, I have fleshed out our list with links to the advocates’ websites, books, and social media so that you can easily follow them and begin to learn more about the prevalence and dynamics of abuse. Be sure to pass this post along.
To begin, here is a link to a short article I wrote on the dynamics of abuse for my denomination’s digital magazine, and here are some useful images for familiarization with the dynamics of abuse:
Abuse Advocates and Experts (in alphabetical order):
*book links are to my Amazon Affiliate store: thebeautif017-20
Bio: Founder of Courage 365, a catalyst to cultivate and empower a Justice Generation that resists abuse everywhere Website: courage365.org Social media: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube
Bio: Christian Writer, Speaker, Instructor, and Abuse Victim-Survivor Advocate Website: maureenfgarcia.com Social media: Twitter
Give Her Wings
Mission: We serve, without judgment and with compassion, single mothers who have left abusive relationships. Our goal is to show them the community and body of the Church, when they otherwise are not finding it. Website: giveherwings.com Social media: Facebook, Twitter
GRACE – Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment
Mission: Empowering Christian communities to recognize, prevent, and respond to abuse. Founded in 2004.
“With a combined experience of over 100 years of addressing abuse-related issues, GRACE has accumulated and organized a wealth of resources from mental health experts, former prosecutors, and theologians to give you and your organization a well-rounded, robust, and deep understanding of abuse and how to prevent it. We all can make a difference by learning about abuse, become equipped on how to recognize it, and committing to responding appropriately. Browse the categories below to learn more.”
Bio: Christian Theologian, preacher, & trauma informed soul care provider; Survivor of racial and spiritual abuse Website: kylejhoward.com Social media: Facebook, Twitter
Mariam Ibraheem – Tahrir Alnisa Foundation
Bio: Survivor of Sudanese Prison and Domestic Violence; Director of Global Mobilization and Co-Founder of TAF Website: tahriralnisa.org Mission: “We empower women escaping abuse by assisting with housing, medical care, trauma recovery, and legal fees.” Social media: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube
Bio: Iranian Church Planter and Domestic Violence Survivor; Executive Director and Co-Founder of TAF Website: tahriralnisa.org Mission: “We empower women escaping abuse by assisting with housing, medical care, trauma recovery, and legal fees.” Social media: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube
Brian Peck – Room to Thrive
Bio: Licensed Therapist, Trauma Coach, helping people resolve religious trauma and thrive after deconstruction Website: roomtothrive.com Social media: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube
Bio: Blogger, Abuse Advocate and Survivor; “Out of our wounds flow compassion, understanding, & grace. May we all be ‘wounded healers’ who do no harm.“ Website: spiritualsoundingboard.com Social media: Facebook, Twitter
Bio: Registered Kinesiologist and expertise in the protection of people from the ravages of poverty, adverse childhood experience, and interpersonal violence. Survivor of Ravi Zacharias abuse. Website: loriannethompson.com Social media: Twitter
This interview is a must see. Lori Anne articulates the dynamics of abuse so profoundly and carefully with great expertise.
Welcome to TBKW’s Year End Review post – better late than never, right?
~ ~ ~ 2020 STATS ~ ~ ~
Here, on the blog, there were 14,072 views, primarily to the home page and then to these posts with the most direct traffic:
#1 – The Transformative Power of Good Leadership is an oldie from 2017 that got a lot of circulation from Pinterest in 2020. I’m so happy because this is written about one of my favorite TED Talks and I would love more people to encounter this!
#2 – Francis Chan, the NEO House Network, and Women in Leadership – another oldie from 2016 that is a common search result for people wondering if Chan is complementarian or egalitarian, I believe. I share the Full Gospel Church story from Seoul, Korea – how they became the largest church in the world by empowering women to lead.
#3 – R.C. Sproul on the Role of Men and Women – I gave an egalitarian position to each of his sermon points on the topic of male headship and female submission. My response posts always do well and I enjoy writing them, so I think I will find a few more complementarians to respond to in 2021.
I wrote eight new posts in 2020, ranked below by my favorite rather than date posted or traffic stats:
I’ve heard that blogging is dead, people don’t read blogs anymore and I’m okay with that. I’m always behind the curve, definitely not trailblazing or trendsetting. The joy for me comes in the writing and I celebrate the rare “Like” or comment on the blog.
Meanwhile, on The Beautiful Kingdom Warriors Facebook page, 2020 brought some significant traffic upticks. Facebook has become the place where I post the articles and posts I’ve come across and found important, the musings of theologians and activists that I follow, and tons of memes – the clear winner as far as reach goes. I had my first viral post last February:
I can’t remember exactly how many people “liked” TBKW before this post, I think it was around 3K. That doubled in February, and with more people engaging on the page, my posts picked up traction. I ended the year with close to 9k follower and my reach is usually around 600k per month.
I’ve increasingly expanded beyond gender issues (egalitarianism vs. complementarianism, sex abuse, domestic violence, rape culture, purity culture, abortion, etc.) to include posts about racism, politics, trauma, theology, evangelical culture, etc. This leads to some unliking and unfollowing the page while others find the page because of similar values and concerns. I haven’t figured out the best way to encourage people to stick around, to communicate that I don’t want the page to be a vacuum of confirmation bias. I want pushback. I am just one person posting things I come across on the internet. I am not trying to be an authority on or guardian of The Truth. I have learned a lot and am so grateful for everyone who sticks around and engages in the conversations, especially when there is disagreement. I love engaging with kind people who help me understand things better.
As much as I would like more diversity, TBKW seems to resonate most with younger Christians, primarily women and US citizens, with similar political views. I am grateful to receive messages thanking me and to see “mentions” recommending TBKW to their friends as a safe community to grow in faith. Like myself, others have felt less lonely because of TBKW.
Getting personal……2020 Reflections:
As it has been for several years, my writing is harried and sporadic. I could find something to write about every day, if I wasn’t stretched so thin and had the mental space to let the words flow. Mostly, I am clinging to others’ words in my Enneagram 5 need to learn, and never process what I am learning through writing. This grieves me.
Life in 2020 was overwhelming in many ways. On top of a global pandemic and its financial impact, I am a working mom whose “free time” is consumed with housework and homeschooling. I was worried about my husband’s health (he finally received a diagnosis and treatment in November), my brother was in a life-threatening car accident, and my kids were struggling to find their groove in quarantine.
Embarrassingly, the hair that broke the camel’s back was turning 40 during a pandemic. I had dreamed about traveling to celebrate with my closest friends. Reaching the “middle-aged” milestone was jarring when I realized my entire life was in survival mode. I was treading water, fighting to stay ahead of bills and work shifts and supporting my family. I had assumed that by 40, I would figure out my health issues. I had unrequited academic dreams and writing goals. I was having a mid-life crisis and I. was. not. okay.
So I asked for help. First, I reached out to a former pastor. She is a gifted counselor and we set up a weekly phone chat. Collette was a precious guide out of the darkness, making sense of my emotions and offering her “me too” stories, encouragement to rest, resource recommendations, and hope that this season would pass.
Second, I signed up for counseling on Better Help and began weekly sessions with Berty. She told me that I was over functioning for others, I was captive to the tyranny of the urgent, and I was angry like a lot of women my age because I was realizing that I had given my life away. She encouraged me to reclaim my life and make SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Actions, Realistic, Timeframe). She said we overestimate what we can accomplish in one year and underestimate what we can accomplish in ten years. She gave me homework each week that led to setting up a writing space for myself in our guest room and to writing the 8 posts that I managed to share.
I love my new writing space!
When I went back to work at the restaurant and the kids went back to school in August, I thanked Collette and Berty and said I wouldn’t have time anymore for their support. I could certainly use support still, but I am much improved. They had been lifesavers, pulling me out of my burned out pit. This fall, I put my caretaker hat on to help my mom through a big surgery in October and then a broken ankle in November. Then we all got COVID in December and had a huge scare when my mom had to be hospitalized. Praise God we all recovered. Mom was ecstatic to move home in January but we’ve missed having her here with us.
Two and a half weeks ago, I had a hysterectomy. My Facebook posts have tripled and I have been commenting much more during recovery! But that will level out and I am committing to writing more posts here on the blog in 2021. The Beautiful Kingdom Warriors is an outlet for me that gives me a sense of purpose and releases my pent up need to process my thoughts. There are so many things I would like to write about, so I am going to utilize my new SMART goals tool and get to it.
I thank you all for following TBKW. It is incredible that we get to partner with God to bring God’s Kingdom values and love to our communities. We can truly manifest God’s will on earth as it is in heaven through our unique gifts and callings. Let us continue to encourage one another, inspire one another, and urge one another on to love and good deeds. God bless!
The Beautiful Kingdom Warriors is here to empower Christian women and girls to find our callings as co-warriors with our brothers in God's Kingdom.
Check out our About page for more on us and our vision for TBKW. Our Links and Video pages are full of great resources regarding theology of gender, gender equality in the church, gender injustice, etc. We update our Facebook page with additional resources, so please "Like" us there! Thanks for stopping by!
Ruth Perry
Becky Buck
The Beautiful Kingdom Warriors 