Tag Archives: objectification

Here’s What’s Wrong With That Viral “World’s Toughest Job” Ad

First of all, I admit to getting teary-eyed watching this ad. Motherhood is the most fulfilling yet simultaneously emotionally and physically exhausting work I’ve ever done. I would have shared the heck out of it if I hadn’t been a little turned off when I realized it was an advertisement and I had been emotionally played. And when I read this post on Time, I agreed with their point about fetishizing motherhood, which actually leads to heaping the full responsibility of parenthood on mothers rather than involving and celebrating the fathers. I am so very thankful that my husband is equally involved in parenting and household chores, freeing me up to be more than just a domestic servant and to have a break when I need it. What do you think?

Do What You Want What You Want With My Body…

Lady-Gaga-feat.-R.-Kelly-Do-What-U-Want-Saturday-Night-Live-Video-05-2013-11-17

Consume/Objectify/Dehumanize

The singer/songwriter Lady Gaga chooses to do a duet with the singer/songwriter R Kelly. She wrote the lyrics to this song with the help of a few others. I loved the synth pop 80’s sound and then I really listened to the lyrics.

LADY GAGA LYRICS

“Do What U Want”(feat. R. Kelly)

Yeah
Turn the mic upI feel good, I walk alone
But then I trip over myself and I fall
I, I stand up, and then I’m okay
But then you print some shit
That makes me wanna screamSo do what you want
What you want with my body
Do what you want
Don’t stop, let’s party
Do what you want
What you want with my body
Do what you want
What you want with my bodyWrite what you want
Say what you want ’bout me
If you’re wondering
Know that I’m not sorry

Do what you want
What you want with my body
What you want with my body

You can’t have my heart
And you won’t use my mind but
Do what you want (with my body)
Do what you want with my body
You can’t stop my voice cause
You don’t own my life but
Do what you want (with my body)
Do what you want (with my body)

Early morning, longer nights
Tom Ford, private flights
Crazy schedule, fast life
I wouldn’t trade it in
‘Cause it’s our life (let’s slow it down…)

I could be the drink in your cup
I could be the green in your blunt
Your pusher man, yeah, I got what you want
You wanna escape all of the crazy shit
You’re the Marilyn, I’m the president
And I’d love to hear you sing, girl

Do what I want
Do what I want with your body
Do what I want
Do what I want with your body
Back of the club, taking shots, getting naughty
No invitations, it’s a private party
Do what I want
Do what I want with your body
Do what I want
Do what I want with your body
Yeah, we taking these haters and we roughing ’em up
And we laying the club like we don’t give a fuck

You can’t have my heart
And you won’t use my mind but
Do what you want with my body
Do what you want with my body
You can’t stop my voice cause
You don’t own my life but
Do what you want with my body
Do what you want with my body

Sometimes I’m scared I suppose
If you ever let me go
I would fall apart
If you break my heart
So just take my body
And don’t stop the party

You can’t have my heart (Help me now)
And you won’t use my mind but
Do what you want with my body
Do what you want with my body
You can’t stop my voice cause
You don’t own my life but
Do what you want with my body
Do what you want with my body

Do what you want with me
What you want with my body
Do what you want with me
What you want with my body (world)
Do what you want with me
What you want with my body
Do what you want with me
What you want with my body

World, help me now
What you want with my body
Do what you want with my body
Do what you want with my body
What you want with my body

       Yikes. Here is a song we let ourselves, mothers, friends, daughters, sisters, aunt, nieces, and men listen to but are we conscious of the destructive message these lyrics bring? The lyrics show forth the objectification of her body and that she has no control over it so go ahead and do what you want with her body because she can separate who she is from the physical acts she engages in or lets people do to her. This is a very disturbing, wrong, and dangerous psyche. We cannot separate who we are from what we do or let people do to us or what people do to us that is unwanted. Just look at how the victims of rape and molestation and abuse are affected when people do what they want with those victims bodies. Without help and therapy these victims become fearful, angry, depressed, detached, guilty, ashamed, addiction prone, unable to connect deeply with others, unable to trust others, and a general feeling of being unwanted and unloveable. And we allow society to feed us a song that says it’s ok to let people do what they want with our bodies? That it won’t affect us mentally? What a horrible and dangerous lie.
        Sexuality is part of who we are.  It is part of us as human BEINGS. We are not human DOINGS. Sexuality is a beautiful thing. It expresses our uniqueness as image bearers of our Creator. It is meant to connect us in deep and meaningful intimacy. So when we express it and it’s acts outside of a monogamous marriage relationship it hurts and distorts and changes us and invites shame and guilt into our being that lies to us about how beautiful and worthy of love we are. Shame and guilt torment and torture or inner monologue that we speak about ourselves. And then shame and guilt seek to silence us in our suffering to further impair our ability to live out who we are meant to be in vulnerable connectedness to others. Shame and guilt are the dangerous consequence to distorted and self seeking sexuality.
       It also makes me sad that Lady Gaga who is actually really talented as a creative being feels these dark emotions because of a society that wants to make money off of women and men’s bodies. I only wish she had put forth a more whole view of how to change society and fight the system instead of giving up and letting the media/men/women “Do what they want with her body.”  R. Kelly disgusts me in his portion of this song. Instead of being a voice of strength and encouragement and wisdom and tenderness to her dark and hurt voice he capitalizes off of her vulnerability to do what he wants with her body. Talk about dehumanizing. What we buy and support and listen to matters!!! Let’s WAKE UP!!!
       We SHOULD NOT be buying into these lies  and allowing society to further oppress proper expression of our sexuality. Instead when we listen to this song, buy it, and support the artists and companies affiliated with this propaganda we invite and encourage sexual exploitation and objectification that further perpetuates a cycle of consume/objectify/dehumanize. I encourage each of you to at least boycott this song. The only way media and society will change is if we STOP BUYING AND SUPPORTING SEXIST AND DEHUMANIZING CRAP!!! Dare to stand up and let your voice for be heard.

Monday VLOG: On Women’s Sexuality

jellyfish_865-300x168

Here is the link to our Monday VLOG, which we posted to our FB page.  We discussed Lisa Wells’ sermon to the women at North Harbor Community Church, part five of their series on human vulnerability, intimacy, and sexuality.  We’ll be transcribing these sermons on the blog and continuing the conversation here.  Let us know your thoughts!